16 Years Without My Mama

Yesterday marked 16 years without my mama.

I still can’t believe I became a woman without her.

I can’t believe I became this version of Eboneé without her.

These 16 years have been the hardest of my life, but through it all, I’m grateful.

Grateful for my mamas spirit watching over me. 

I could’ve been a foster kid, possibly stuck in a system, if she hadn’t chosen me.

My life could have taken so many different paths. But she chose me. And for that, I am endlessly grateful.

I could have been so many other versions of myself if my mama was still earthside. 

If my mama had been here for the past 16 years, I know this version of me wouldn’t exist. Couldn’texist.

This strength, this wisdom, this peace—none of it was given freely. I fought for it. I fought for my life for 5,840 days.

I carved this version of myself out of the 18 years of knowledge, love, and resilience she left me. I took the pieces of her that remained and built an unshakable foundation.

16 years without my mama. 16 years without the sun, the moon, the stars and everything that ever felt right in this world.

16 years, and I’m finally at a place where I can be the sun, the moon, the stars, and everything right in my own world.

For 16 years, I searched for Her in every kind of love. Every friendship, every romance, every family connection—I was looking for her.

But I never found a love so pure, so unwavering, so sufficient.

It took me 16 years to realize—I’ll never find her in anyone else. Because she’s always been in me.

16 years without my mama, and I’m finally okay with the cards I’ve been dealt.

I’ll run a yard regardless.

Virginia Earlene Woodfork, you were everything that was ever right with this world. Thank you for guiding me, for choosing me, and for teaching me.  

Forever your Molly. 💜